The Thoughts of Chairman Dave

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   To Maintain A Healthy 
Level Of Insanity 

1. At 
Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With 
Sunglasses 
on and point a Hair Dryer 
At Passing 
Cars. 
See 
If They Slow Down. 

2. Page 
Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't 
DisguiseYour Voice. ! 

3. Every 
Time Someone Asks You To Do 
Something, ask 
If They Want Fries with that. 

4. Put 
Decaf In The Coffee 
Maker For 3 Weeks . 
Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine 
Addictions,
Switch 
to Espresso. 

5. In 
the Memo Field Of All Your Cheques, 
Write 'ForMarijuana' 

6. Skip down 
the hall Rather 
Than Walk and 
see how many looks you get. 

7. Order 
a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat,with 
a serious face. 

8. Specify 
That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To 
Go'. 

9. Sing 
Along At The Opera. 

10. Five 
Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have 
a headache. 

11. When 
The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I 
Won! I Won!' 

12. 
When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards theParking 
lot, Yelling 'Run 
For Your Lives! They're Loose!' 

13. Tell 
Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due 
To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.' 

And 
The Final 
Way To Keep A 
Healthy Level Of Insanity
14. PICK 
UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WERE THE FITTING 
ROOM IS

It's 
Called 
... THERAPY

     Chair man  Dave 